Cow Science 101

Cows are ingenious, they are magnificent and they can be used as a theory to explain everything in life. The BoLiao Squad brings to you the Cow Life Lessons Series following the cow politics 101, we have Cow science 101.

Firstly, we assume " YOU HAVE TWO COWS!"

Anti-Matter: You have one cow and one anti-cow. They collide. You now have no cows and a very large crater.

Biology: You have two members of the species bos tauri, one male (XY) and one female (XX). Through meiosis and sexual reproduction, they produce more cows, and after many generations evolve into a bovine freak of nature through genetic drift, mutation, natural selection, and inbreeding.

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle: You know you have exactly two cows. You have no idea where they are.

Mathematics: You have 2cos.

Mathematics 2: You have two cows. You can put your two cows in either order and get the same result because they are commootative.

Paradox: You have two cows. One goes back in time and stops their mother from getting pregnant with them. You have no cows. The cows are never born so one never goes back in time to stop his mother from giving birth. You have 2 cows. One goes back in time and...

Relativity: You have two cows. If you shoot one of the cows into orbit at close to light speed, when it gets back to Earth it will be dead, because cows can't operate spacecraft.

Schrödinger's Cows: You have two cows. They are both alive and dead in a large metal box.

Scientific Notation: You have 2*100 cows
Scientific Research: You find you two cows, but the people who fund your research don't want it to be that way. You lose funding and get a proper job.

String Theory: You have two cows, but you don't know why. You think of a violin and decide to create an entire model of fundamental physics around it. You add dimensions and random nonsense that no one can prove or disprove to your theory. You keep doing this and hope it will tell you where your cows came from.

Quantum Theory: You have an infinite number of cows until you observe them. Once you do, you have two cows.

Some preview of the next in the series, Cow Maths 101

Integer: You have 2 cows.

Set notation: You have x cows where x є {k2≤k≤2}

Greek Numerals: You have β´ cows.

Roman Numerals: You have II cows.

LOL there's more to come, in our next post on Cow Maths 101 :D